Guilty

So, yesterday Reagan and I treated ourselves to our first outing together sans Melita. My parents agreed to watch Melita for a whole 5 hours while we indulged ourselves in whatever adult activity we wanted. We started with lunch at a semi-fancy restaurant that included adult beverages. We then went to a friends house and hung out by the pool and talked about everything that didn't include parenting and babies. And then for good measure, we popped into our local pub to do a shot before heading back home to resume our roles as parents. A couple of friends surprised us by coming over to keep the good times rolling. The evening ended early and Melita actually slept most of the night. But now, post-booze I feel guilty. Guilty for enjoying my childless self for a few indulgent hours. Guilty for imbibing and letting other people take care of my daughter. What kind of mother am I? I keep telling myself this morning that most certainly all new mothers feel this way after their first night out after baby is born but somehow I feel alone. It has to get easier.